so realllly i have a million things i "should" could be doing other than sitting on my computer but i can't seem to find the motivation in myself because today all i can seem to do is; watch the finale's of a few shows, search insanely for this girl, and read this new mormon bachelor pad blog, and eat junk food while feeling sorry for myself today.
SO im going to post about my oh so eventful last twenty-four hours even though i just want to sleep it off (and the next 6 as well) and should be studying for institute but can't find the motivation because my mind won't be focused enough to translate it during class (because im trying to figure out who this *person is with the little clues i have) so i'll just read the chapters we were assigned during class. I don't really want to go to institute because they changed it to 8:30 p.m. thats LATE. i leave for it at 8 get there class gets out at 9:30 and if im lucky i can catch the 9:40 ish bus and be home by 10 but usually wont be home until 10:30 which in my opinion is not appropriate for institute, i would rather a few people be a little bit late than me have to travel by myself that late at night, so i've been avoiding it the last few weeks but then a girl at district conference asked if i was going this week and i said maybe and she said well let me know if you do because then i will, and so i felt that guilty twinge and said i'll be there. dang guilt making me go out late at night and when i reallly dont want to.
anyways last 24 hours.
7 pm- just emailed justin for a little getting him to calm down from the letter i sent him that somehow was read as a dear john, but totalllllly wasn't. it was one of those "buck up" focus less on me letters like a supportive missionary girl should be you know?.. then i fed the kids dinner
7:30 fighting with dario because "he's not hungry" and wants chocolate. boo.
8:00 finally the kids are in pj's just relaxing watching tv but BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. and still want chocolate. joy.
8:15 give them one piece if they promise to just sit on the couch and relax. they did so i checked my email...
8:20 PISSSSED off. like the maddest i've ever been in my life (well maybe the second maddest but only two people know about the first) and i am pretty hard to make mad let alone piss off. the reason: in short, *someone decided to email Justin about false stuff about me that made me look really bad and like a liar. great. justin would be back on at 9 to email again..
8:40 stressed doing the dishes because it relaxes me but not last night... i cut my thumb
8:55 put the kids to bed even though its 5 minutes early so i can be ready to calm justin down, once again.
9:00 still putting the kids to bed, justin emailed me 3 times, are you there? i need to talk to you about this
9:03 we "talk" (as in email) about it all and calm him down and make him not want to come home anymore because of some person that decided to meddle in our relationship for no good reason. i think i get that enough from *blank(s).
9:10 A. comes home, sees my face and is seriously worried. Everything okay with the kids? yes of course it all went great they may still be tossing and turning in bed. She goes in to kiss them and back out to me, and says need to talk? I LET IT ALL OUT. so much that she couldn't understand me. still shaking with anger (maybe i have never been that mad in my life)
10:00 he's calm and going to stay on his mission and is sorry for believing this *other person over me and for thinking i would really be like that but of course i understand because i sure missionaries are a little worried about their girl getting "stolen" while on their mission (although i did just write him the letter to focus less on me and more on his mission (which seee above) was taken as a dear john in some way so i get that he was a little freaked by both in the same day)
10:01 start SEARCHING for this *person because i know where she got her information to twist and turn my words into sounding bad. and have recruited my new best friend who i have never met in person (ha ha she's AMAZING.)
11 STILL looking
12 still looking
12:01 decide its probably time to go to bed. try to sleep, NOT POSSIBLE. and so i read this mormon bachelor pad blog and now im addicted and have to read to the beginning of this story which will take a lonnng time.
1 still awake, still mad as ever
1:30 set my alarm in the morning hoping i wake up to it
2 still awake
sometime between 2-3 i fell asleep i think
7 am rolls around get the kids ready but really wishing i could sleep it all off until wednesday
7:15 realize i have 3 bug bites on my left hand aren't they supposed to DIE in the cold. dang mosquitos.
8:15 kids out the door with A as she turns and says, did you find that *person yet because i want to know! nope not yet. i think this *person has gone into hiding which is a good idea for this *person because im not very nice when im mad
the rest of the day, eat junk food, watch the finale's, read this new blog, and cry (alot.. boo) because my email day was RUINED over this dang ignant (the reason i use that word is because as i reread justin and i's email i realized i used that word! uhh i think i was WAYYY madder than i let on, because i didnt know ignant was in my vocabulary) *person
2 i should probably eat lunch. burn my pinky finger...
4 run out to get a mail key made so i can stalk the mailbox for my letters instead of stalking A to come up with the mail after work
5 get the kids and A ready to leave for the weekend
5:15 home alone until sunday night, sweet silence. LOVE IT.
5:15-7 reading that dang blog, STILL. its my new addiction, crap.
7 decided to write this post and feel sorry for myself and get that anger out that has been bubbling before i go to put my happy face on for institute.
oh the life of a nanny in florence who is waiting for her missionary (with a left hand that has 3 bug bites (pointer finger, inside palm, and outside palm) a cut on the thumb and a burned pinky). but at the end of the day live and learn and maybe someone will learn to NOT meddle in others life especially long distance things and unable to talk it out in person or on the phone.. and now that i look back its funny that someone felt so threatened by me to feel the need to "tattle" fake things on me. so this was a learning experience for me that i would have much rathered (uhh is that a word??) not to have but glad it happened to me instead of some other girls that i care about and would have been devastated by it. and this is my blog of sharing my experiences bad or good. not my last 24 hours.
and i know i said i would have pictures but im lame and too lazy to upload them. maybe tomorrow since i dont have to do ANYTHING :)
* i do try to not leak too much information because i dont have a private blog and some people might be embarrassed